Choklit Blog #71: Songwriting is fun

    As you may or may not know (why do so many of my blogs start that way?), I spend a lot of time sitting around doing nothing at school.  I recently decided to use that time to write songs.  So I've written some songs recently, and I've been waiting for the perfect moment to post them.  This is that moment... because I don't really have anything better to do... so here there are.  Enjoy, or don't.

The first one is called "Relentless."  It's basically about the dangers of praying for something relentlessly without stopping to consider how it will affect other people or whether it's even God's will.

Down on my knees, I made one request
That I refused to put to rest
Cause I'm relentless

Maybe I was a fool for asking
Cause I was the only one in mind
Maybe this infection's passing
But I won't hold my breath this time
Maybe I was desperate, I was clinging
But I swear I wasn't thinking
I hope that I'm sleeping, I pray that I'm dreaming
I cry that, oh God, would you please forgive me?

Down on my knees, I made one request
That I refused to put to rest
Cause I'm relentless
[One request, that I refused to put to rest]
Cause I'm relentless

How can I be happy for myself
When my discontentment's killed someone else?
I've got exactly what I wanted
But I lost so much more in the process
Cause I'm afraid that I'm to blame
As I'm watching everyone around me break
And what I've gained isn't worth your pain
I just hope that you can't read my shame

Down on my knees, I made one request
That I refused to put to rest
Cause I'm relentless

The second one is currently untitled, but it's about being strengthened by faith in God, despite normal human weaknesses.

Sometimes I'm afraid to try
Sometimes I won't look inside my mind
Sometimes, just scared of life
Do you think I'm down?

Some days I cry
Some days I can't look you in the eye
Some days I'm not ready to die
Do you think I'm out?

When I'm on the ground
I'll need more than just a feeling
To pick me back up

I don't need my heart, you can take my mind
They'll only quicken my demise
You can take my emotion, inspiration
Cause I'm built on faith and determination
You'll never weaken my resolve
I may trip, but I'll never fall

Some nights I can't fall asleep
Some nights, can't do anything but think
Some nights I can't even dream
But I'm not going down
I'm not falling out

I don't need my heart, you can take my mind
They'll only quicken my demise
You can take my emotion, inspiration
Cause I'm built on faith and determination
You'll never weaken my resolve
I may trip, but I'll never fall

Self-certainty creates the weak, and it's got no place in me
But I'm aware beyond a doubt that Someone's holding out
Someone's holding on to me
(When I'm on the ground
I'll need more than just a feeling
To pick me back up)

I don't need my heart, you can take my mind
They'll only quicken my demise
You can take my emotion, inspiration
Cause I'm built on faith and determination
You'll never weaken my resolve
I may trip, but I'll never fall

The next one is also untitled at the moment, and it's pretty much about the finiteness of the human mind and having faith.

After all these years
I'm flipping through old pictures
Trying to find proof
That You're not really here

After all these nights
I'm trying to remember what You said
Searching for one word
That will prove You wrong or right
And put my doubts to rest

If I could stretch the edge of my mind
To comprehend the touch of Your fingertip
That's the only thing I'll ever need
If I could stretch out my hand to touch
The beating of the heart inside Your chest
I swear I'd never ask for anything

After all these dreams
I'm wondering if I'd take more comfort
In knowing You're a fake
Or living solely on belief

But after all this time
I really think I'm so convinced
That no amount of fact
Could even try to change my mind
Cause You're the only thing that makes sense

Uncertainty is gripping at my mind
Like I want to grip Your hand
But I'll scream the truth at myself
Even though I'll never understand

If I could stretch the edge of my mind
To comprehend the touch of Your fingertip
That's the only thing I'll ever need
If I could stretch out my hand to touch
The beating of the heart inside Your chest
I swear I'd never ask for anything

Uncertainty is gripping at my mind
Like I want to grip Your hand
But I'll scream the truth at myself
Even though I'll never understand

The last one is called Break. It's self-explanatory. Actually, I guess most of these are, if not all of them.

I never saw this coming
Never though you'd be the one
I saw you moving closer
But I never though you'd take the plunge
And now it's done, you've fallen under
I feel like I'm chasing after thunder
Reaching for you
Why won't you take my hand, don't you understand?

Indecision's on my mind
I want to tear you down
But I want to know you're fine

When you start to shake
I pray it's more than you can take
And when you fall apart
You're always welcome in my arms
When you come unglued
I pray you'll finally see the truth
If that's what it's gonna take
Then I hope to God you break

My days are dragging slowly
Ad you're drowning in your skin
Each night I'm begging for you
That God would pull you from your sins
It feels so useless, I'm confused
I feel like my mind has been abused
Trying to get you
Why won't you take my hand? I don't understand.

This thing is hurting us both
If it's not over soon
Then I don't know how we'll cope

When you start to shake
I pray it's more than you can take
And when you fall apart
You're always welcome in my arms
When you come unglued
I pray you'll finally see the truth
If that's what it's gonna take
Then I hope to God you break

That's all for now. Hopefully I'll have some more done soon. If you happen to read this, feedback would be appreciated. Thank you and goodbye.