It’s pretty much an obvious and very well-known fact that divorce rates in America are high. “I do” pretty much means “I do until I’m not happy anymore or until I find someone better.” Why?
Because Americans are immature.
In a country where it’s considered totally normal for eleven-year-olds to “date”, you would expect the general population to be more mature than most. But no, in America we encourage everyone to stay young as long as they possibly can... and then some.
But at the same time, most Americans allow their kids to grow up as quickly as they want. That’s why everyone in high school is expected to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Parents somehow think it’s healthy for their teenagers to go from relationship to relationship all through their junior high and high school years.
Well, I’m sure we all know how the vast majority of those “relationships” work. You’re hot, so I date you. You make me happy, so I love you and we’ll be together forever. You smile at another girl, so I dump you and hate you. I hate you, so I date your best friend just to make you mad while refusing to speak to you ever again. And so the cycle continues.
When these teenagers grow up and get married, they eventually realize their husband isn’t Prince Charming or their wife isn’t Cinderella. Their little fantasy comes crashing down around them when they realize this person obviously isn’t “the one”, so they let them go and find someone else just like they did in high school.
Parents, instead of teaching your kids to live like that, why not teach them this: No person will always make you happy, but if you’re a mature adult who cares about someone other than yourself, then you can make marriage work.
People grow up in families so they can see what it’s like to live with someone who doesn’t always make them happy. But American teenagers are encouraged to disobey their parents and hate their families. This attitude toward family will carry over to your marriage and your children, even if you think it’s going to be different since you pick who you marry.
Of course, that’s another problem teenage dating tends to create: no one knows how to pick the right person anymore. In high school, dating is all about looks and popularity, or about who makes you laugh and feel good. Typical teenagers are all about emotion, and whoever makes them feel good is who they want to be with. They grow up thinking that a good relationship means the other person makes you feel good.
Well, guess what, teenagers. It’s not all about how you feel! It’s important to marry someone who has the same core beliefs as you and a compatible personality, and who wants the same type of life you want. If you want a husband who will support you financially, don’t marry a 30-year-old aspiring musician who lives in a trailer and flips burgers for a living, even if he’s cute and make you happy. If you want a wife who will stay home and raise children, don’t marry a career woman, even if she’s pretty and rich.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll hopefully have some time to write a mini-series about my views on marriage and dating and stuff, so this little rant is sort of an intro to that. Or if I get lazy and don't do it, then this is just a rant. It’s also my 50th blog. Congratulations, me!
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