Choklit Blog #34: 10 Ridiculous Lines From My iTunes Library

Everyone, at some point in their life, has listened to a song and thought “Wow... why on earth was that line put in this song?” Or maybe not everyone. But people like me who pay really close attention to song lyrics have done that. I’m sure there are about a million in my iTunes library, but I can’t think of them all right now. Here are 10 that I can think of right now, in no particular order, and why they’re lame.

#10 - “Yours” by Tobymac

“Nobody ever told me that my doo-doo stunk.” Dear Mr. McKeehan, hate to break it to ya, but you’re an adult, and I’m pretty sure you’re older than my dad. Please start talking like one. Are your little kids rubbing off on you too much?

#9 - “X-Girlfriend” by Family Force 5

“I found out that she’s calling up my best friend, who said he’d never ever ever go and do this again.” This pretty much implies that your “best friend” has stolen your girlfriend before. So why is he your best friend? Stop complaining, it’s your own fault for having such a lame friend.

#8 - “Let It Go” by Manafest

“Feeling butt naked, my pride has been taken.” I think this is probably a great time to say TMI. We don’t really want to know what you feel like when you’re butt naked. Thanks for not telling us.

#7 - “Echelon” by Pillar

“We’re on the enemy’s hit list.” No, really?

#6 - “Bounce” by Thousand Foot Krutch

“It’s TFK, we rock the party.” This song is not from the 90s... it’s from 2003. There is no excuse for a forced rhyme like this. And if you really rock the party, why do you have to announce it as if no one knew?

#5 - “Fireflies” by Owl City

“But I’ll know where several are if my dreams get real bizarre, ‘cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar.” The fact that a dude is singing about keeping fireflies in a jar is just weird. I don’t think your dreams are the only thing getting real bizarre.

#4 - “Dear Slim” by KJ-52

“See I can relate to you ‘cause son I’m about as old as you.” Why would you call someone “son” and then immediately tell them that you’re about the same age? That seems either derogatory toward him or conceited.

#3 - “The Vinyl Countdown” by Relient k

“It’s all the same with all the kids, no one knows what vinyl is.” Actually, when I said something to my parents about a band I listen to selling vinyl, they were like “Huh? Vinyl? Oh, you mean records.”

#2 - “Bring ‘Em Out” by Hawk Nelson

“Pretty baby, don’t you know I’ll treat you right. I’ll go crazy if you pass me up tonight.” Dude, why don’t you just get down on your knees and beg and start threatening? This sounds like a real-life Fatal Attraction. A potential restraining order, at least.

#1 - “Catchafire” by Tobymac

“Whoopsi daisy, whoopsi daisy, whoopsi daisy, come we gonna catch that fire.” Even when I LOVED Tobymac and this was like my favorite song by him, I still thought the lyrics were stupid!