Choklit Blog #25: 10 Pros and Cons of Going to Culinary School at Age 15

I’m about to finish up my first semester at culinary school. I’ll also be 16 in a few months. Sounds awesome, right? I mean, I get a degree when most people my age are getting out of high school. It can be cool, yeah, but it also has it’s share of downsides. If you or someone you know is planning on going to college 3 years early, read on. If not... keep reading anyway. There are so many different aspects of the whole going-to-college-before-you-can-drive experience, and I think each one has at least one pro and one con. So here’s my top ten list:

Intelligence

Con: You haven’t really been around as long as everyone else, and therefore may lack some intelligence that they all have... most likely common sense. And any knowledge of anything from the 80s. This can make you feel young and stupid at times, but hey, you probably are, so suck it up and pretend you’re an adult. When everyone falls for it, you realize how smart they aren’t. It’s tons of fun, so embrace your ignorance. [I’m not sure this even counts as a con anymore, so suck it up and pretend it does...]

Pro: Even if you feel like the most clueless person in the room, you can rest assured that you are in fact smarter [“smart” as in book smart, of course] than... probably everyone at your school. At the age of 15, you got to where they got in... at least 18 years. Possibly 61. And then half of them drop out after the first week. Of course, if those are the people you’re hanging out with, you probably haven’t felt clueless yet.

Transportation

Pro: You don’t have to drive yourself to school. Your chauffeur [brother who goes to the same school] drives you. And since it’s his car, you don’t even have to pay for all the gas. And since he’s not a real chauffeur, you don’t even have to pay him.

Con: When your brother is at home sick, people will probably wonder why your mom drives you to school. And if your whole family is sick or busy, you have a pretty lame excuse for missing class. Good luck explaining to an instructor why you don’t have your license. Not to mention that when a classmate asks you in middle of class why your brother drives you to school everyday, then you respond that you don’t have a license, to which she responds “Well, what are you waiting for?”, you’ll end up having to explain your entire life story quickly and discreetly enough for the chef instructor not to notice that you’re talking. And when there are only 16 people in the room, that’s not easy.

Male/Female Interaction

Pro: College guys are better than high school guys. Obviously.

Con: When you come home and casually mention some random occurrence from your day that includes any of the following: walking to the vending machine down the hall with a male classmate, having your ponytail pulled by a male classmate, baking with a male partner in class, getting 5 class-related emails in one day from your male chef instructor, talking to a male classmate outside of class, talking to a male classmate in class, being asked by someone male for directions to the bookstore, or being complimented by anyone male... your mother will freak out.

Bonus Pro/Con [Or “Pron”]: Your mother’s facial expressions will likely be priceless. This could be a con, however, if you don’t happen to keep a camera on hand in the ready position at all times.

Bragging

Pro: You get major bragging rights. I mean, who goes to college at 15? Most people are pretty impressed. Sometimes too impressed. It’s not so cool when they randomly say things like “I can’t believe you’re only 15!” during class, causing a few unbelieving stares in your direction. Get ready to whip out your driver’s permit.

Con: Bragging makes you look conceited. Like a celebrity. And who ever wanted to look like a celebrity?

Excuses, Excuses

Pro: “I can’t date you... I’m 15.” “That’s cheating? I didn’t know... I’m only 15.” “I can’t work at the wine tasting... I’m 15.” “Gosh, I really don’t know what I’m doing since I’m only 15. Will you do it for me?” “I don’t have any money for you to borrow, because I don’t have a job, because I’m 15.” “But if you fail me, I’ll lose my scholarship. Then I can’t go to college and I might have to go back to high school, but my mom has already told me she would never let me be on a high school campus alone. Legally, I’m too young to not be enrolled in school, or I could be taken away from my parents and put in a foster home. So you pass me, or I go into foster care. You can’t expect my vegetable cuts to be perfect anyway... I’m 15.”

Con: “Your vegetable cuts are imperfect. It’s because you’re 15. Everyone who said you were too young for college was right.” “I can’t believe you cut yourself again. It’s because you’re 15. There should be a rule against enrolling here when you’re 15.” “Your cake is ugly like everyone else’s. It’s because you’re 15. Come back in 3 years and you can make a better one.” “You have plenty of time to go to college... because you’re only 15. I think I’ll fail you for fun.”

Work

Pro: While everyone else is working 30 hours a day to pay the rent on their apartment, you can study for your Sanitation national exam in your nice 5-bedroom house that you don’t have to pay a penny for. Then you can clean it...

Con: If you’re like me and would rather not tell everyone in class that you’re only 15, have fun explaining why you’ve never had a job before. “Um... my parents want me to focus on school, so they said I could live with them until I graduate.” No one will ever buy that. Even though it’s true. Since I don’t condone lying, I would recommend the next best thing... crying. “It’s not *sniff* my fault *sniff* that everyone thinks *sob* that they’re better *sob* than me be*sniff*cause they ALL *sob* HAVE *sob* BETTER *sniff* JOBS!!!!!” Cry your eyes out to divert attention from the subject at hand. And let me know how that goes.

Family

Pro: You still live with your family, so your mom can make your brothers do your chores for you while you do homework and study. Or vice versa... but then you get out of homework temporarily. So it’s still a pro. Unless of course you would rather take inventory of every food item in your school and let your brothers fold the towels.

Con: When you’ve repeatedly talked about your 2 older brothers, your only siblings, and then you ask if you can take home the cake you just made for your brother’s 17th birthday, you may get a few strange looks. And some comments. And questions. But when you respond by explaining in great detail the whole story of your entire life, everyone will learn not to ask you questions. So this could also be a pro... if your classmates will shut up long enough to let you talk about yourself for an hour.

Interests

Con: You’re more interested in changing your computer wallpaper to a different picture of your favorite band, writing blogs about school, analyzing songs, and sleeping than you are in reading your Nutrition book, knowing anything about fish, or hanging out at the bar. Goodbye class discussion.

Pro: Project 86 and Thousand Foot Krutch are cooler than oysters anyway. At least you have interesting interests. At least you don’t eat your interests.

Special Treatment

Pro: Your classmates will try [for about 5 minutes] to clean up their too-dirty-for-TV language a little, and they won’t show you pictures of the X-rated cake they baked.

Con: They will, however, feel the need to explain jokes to you, and then say “Dang, I’m corrupting your mind.”

Shiny Knives and Other Tools

Pro: Most people your age would get arrested for carrying a pocket knife around school, but for you, taking a knife to school is required. And not just a knife... a whole bag of them. Big knives. Big, shiny knives.

Con: You are the most likely person in the whole culinary department to scrape whipped cream off the edge of a straight spatula with your fingers, only to find that it’s actually a knife.

[NOTE: If this implied to you that I have used lame excuses, failed classes because of age, consider lack of interest in drinking bad, or am in danger of going into foster care, I can assure you that none of that is true. Drinking is stupid. If this implied to you that I cut myself on something I thought was a spatula, I can assure you that that is very true.]