Choklit Blog #25: 10 Pros and Cons of Going to Culinary School at Age 15

I’m about to finish up my first semester at culinary school. I’ll also be 16 in a few months. Sounds awesome, right? I mean, I get a degree when most people my age are getting out of high school. It can be cool, yeah, but it also has it’s share of downsides. If you or someone you know is planning on going to college 3 years early, read on. If not... keep reading anyway. There are so many different aspects of the whole going-to-college-before-you-can-drive experience, and I think each one has at least one pro and one con. So here’s my top ten list:

Intelligence

Con: You haven’t really been around as long as everyone else, and therefore may lack some intelligence that they all have... most likely common sense. And any knowledge of anything from the 80s. This can make you feel young and stupid at times, but hey, you probably are, so suck it up and pretend you’re an adult. When everyone falls for it, you realize how smart they aren’t. It’s tons of fun, so embrace your ignorance. [I’m not sure this even counts as a con anymore, so suck it up and pretend it does...]

Pro: Even if you feel like the most clueless person in the room, you can rest assured that you are in fact smarter [“smart” as in book smart, of course] than... probably everyone at your school. At the age of 15, you got to where they got in... at least 18 years. Possibly 61. And then half of them drop out after the first week. Of course, if those are the people you’re hanging out with, you probably haven’t felt clueless yet.

Transportation

Pro: You don’t have to drive yourself to school. Your chauffeur [brother who goes to the same school] drives you. And since it’s his car, you don’t even have to pay for all the gas. And since he’s not a real chauffeur, you don’t even have to pay him.

Con: When your brother is at home sick, people will probably wonder why your mom drives you to school. And if your whole family is sick or busy, you have a pretty lame excuse for missing class. Good luck explaining to an instructor why you don’t have your license. Not to mention that when a classmate asks you in middle of class why your brother drives you to school everyday, then you respond that you don’t have a license, to which she responds “Well, what are you waiting for?”, you’ll end up having to explain your entire life story quickly and discreetly enough for the chef instructor not to notice that you’re talking. And when there are only 16 people in the room, that’s not easy.

Male/Female Interaction

Pro: College guys are better than high school guys. Obviously.

Con: When you come home and casually mention some random occurrence from your day that includes any of the following: walking to the vending machine down the hall with a male classmate, having your ponytail pulled by a male classmate, baking with a male partner in class, getting 5 class-related emails in one day from your male chef instructor, talking to a male classmate outside of class, talking to a male classmate in class, being asked by someone male for directions to the bookstore, or being complimented by anyone male... your mother will freak out.

Bonus Pro/Con [Or “Pron”]: Your mother’s facial expressions will likely be priceless. This could be a con, however, if you don’t happen to keep a camera on hand in the ready position at all times.

Bragging

Pro: You get major bragging rights. I mean, who goes to college at 15? Most people are pretty impressed. Sometimes too impressed. It’s not so cool when they randomly say things like “I can’t believe you’re only 15!” during class, causing a few unbelieving stares in your direction. Get ready to whip out your driver’s permit.

Con: Bragging makes you look conceited. Like a celebrity. And who ever wanted to look like a celebrity?

Excuses, Excuses

Pro: “I can’t date you... I’m 15.” “That’s cheating? I didn’t know... I’m only 15.” “I can’t work at the wine tasting... I’m 15.” “Gosh, I really don’t know what I’m doing since I’m only 15. Will you do it for me?” “I don’t have any money for you to borrow, because I don’t have a job, because I’m 15.” “But if you fail me, I’ll lose my scholarship. Then I can’t go to college and I might have to go back to high school, but my mom has already told me she would never let me be on a high school campus alone. Legally, I’m too young to not be enrolled in school, or I could be taken away from my parents and put in a foster home. So you pass me, or I go into foster care. You can’t expect my vegetable cuts to be perfect anyway... I’m 15.”

Con: “Your vegetable cuts are imperfect. It’s because you’re 15. Everyone who said you were too young for college was right.” “I can’t believe you cut yourself again. It’s because you’re 15. There should be a rule against enrolling here when you’re 15.” “Your cake is ugly like everyone else’s. It’s because you’re 15. Come back in 3 years and you can make a better one.” “You have plenty of time to go to college... because you’re only 15. I think I’ll fail you for fun.”

Work

Pro: While everyone else is working 30 hours a day to pay the rent on their apartment, you can study for your Sanitation national exam in your nice 5-bedroom house that you don’t have to pay a penny for. Then you can clean it...

Con: If you’re like me and would rather not tell everyone in class that you’re only 15, have fun explaining why you’ve never had a job before. “Um... my parents want me to focus on school, so they said I could live with them until I graduate.” No one will ever buy that. Even though it’s true. Since I don’t condone lying, I would recommend the next best thing... crying. “It’s not *sniff* my fault *sniff* that everyone thinks *sob* that they’re better *sob* than me be*sniff*cause they ALL *sob* HAVE *sob* BETTER *sniff* JOBS!!!!!” Cry your eyes out to divert attention from the subject at hand. And let me know how that goes.

Family

Pro: You still live with your family, so your mom can make your brothers do your chores for you while you do homework and study. Or vice versa... but then you get out of homework temporarily. So it’s still a pro. Unless of course you would rather take inventory of every food item in your school and let your brothers fold the towels.

Con: When you’ve repeatedly talked about your 2 older brothers, your only siblings, and then you ask if you can take home the cake you just made for your brother’s 17th birthday, you may get a few strange looks. And some comments. And questions. But when you respond by explaining in great detail the whole story of your entire life, everyone will learn not to ask you questions. So this could also be a pro... if your classmates will shut up long enough to let you talk about yourself for an hour.

Interests

Con: You’re more interested in changing your computer wallpaper to a different picture of your favorite band, writing blogs about school, analyzing songs, and sleeping than you are in reading your Nutrition book, knowing anything about fish, or hanging out at the bar. Goodbye class discussion.

Pro: Project 86 and Thousand Foot Krutch are cooler than oysters anyway. At least you have interesting interests. At least you don’t eat your interests.

Special Treatment

Pro: Your classmates will try [for about 5 minutes] to clean up their too-dirty-for-TV language a little, and they won’t show you pictures of the X-rated cake they baked.

Con: They will, however, feel the need to explain jokes to you, and then say “Dang, I’m corrupting your mind.”

Shiny Knives and Other Tools

Pro: Most people your age would get arrested for carrying a pocket knife around school, but for you, taking a knife to school is required. And not just a knife... a whole bag of them. Big knives. Big, shiny knives.

Con: You are the most likely person in the whole culinary department to scrape whipped cream off the edge of a straight spatula with your fingers, only to find that it’s actually a knife.

[NOTE: If this implied to you that I have used lame excuses, failed classes because of age, consider lack of interest in drinking bad, or am in danger of going into foster care, I can assure you that none of that is true. Drinking is stupid. If this implied to you that I cut myself on something I thought was a spatula, I can assure you that that is very true.]

Choklit Blog #24: "Death of Me" by Red

I figured it would probably be a good idea to post the first song analysis I ever wrote, since I've only written one, and I don't have anything else to post at the moment, or time to write anything new at 10 PM. I will probably never write another analysis this formal or this long for this blog...

The song “Death of Me” by the band Red may appear at first glance to address some sort of outward enemy, such as another person, object, or addiction. It seems to tell the story of a personal experience one of the band members might have had with a close friend or family member gone bad. While this may have been the original intention of the song, a much deeper meaning can be found with a little bit more thought. This song is a story that can be told from anyone’s point of view. The adversary in the song symbolizes the darker side of human nature, while the lyrics illustrate the inward struggle everyone faces in life.

The first verse of the song starts with the words “I should’ve seen all the signs all around me” (1). The speaker has been blinded by selfishness. He has become so preoccupied with himself that he does not notice the obvious signs that he is not living life the way he should be. The next line makes this even more clear. “But I was comfortable inside these wounds” (2). He is comfortable, so he stops paying attention to what is going on around him. Selfishness is one of the biggest traps people fall into in life and one of the hardest things for a person to recognize in himself, so it is addressed at the very beginning of the song.

The line “But I was comfortable inside these wounds” also reveals something else about the speaker (2). He has become lazy. When he reached this place in his life, he could feel the negative consequences of his actions and lifestyle. However, he was too lazy to get out of that bad place and now he has become comfortable in what used to hurt him. He has built up a tolerance to pain and now is unmotivated to move away from the cause of the pain. This shows how one bad characteristic leads to another, by demonstrating the connection between laziness and non-motivation.

The verse continues with “So go ahead and take another piece of me now” (3). Now that the speaker is unmotivated to do good, he has no reason to hold back from his bad side. His darker self has weakened him and is now free to take over his whole life slowly. The last line of the verse, “While we all bow down to you”, indicates that the person who once seemed like a good man is now practically worshipping this other side of himself and dragging others down with him (4).

When the chorus begins, so does the mental struggle. “You tear me down and then you pick me up” (5). One can see the battle going on between the speaker’s good side and his bad side. His bad side tears him down, like in verse one, then his good side picks him back up and the process continues. This is why in verse one he says “So go ahead and take another piece of me now” (3). This has been going on for a while, and each time he is torn down his bad side wins over another part of his life. He picks himself back up, but each time he becomes a little bit weaker and a little bit closer to falling apart completely.

The chorus goes on to say “You take it all and still it’s not enough” (6). This shows another bad characteristic. The selfishness has lead the speaker to want everything for himself, while the laziness and non-motivation have kept him from getting anything he really wants and needs. The ultimate result is greed. “You try to tell me you can heal me” (7). Since greed has taken over, the speaker’s bad side appears to offer the speaker a quick fix for all his problems, which he has gladly accepted before. Now he notices that he has been falling into a trap, and says “But I’m still bleeding, and you will be the death of me” (8-9). The speaker has come to the realization that he needs to change something in his life, and he will no longer give himself over to the dark.

The chorus flows right into verse two with the speaker asking “How can you help my affliction if you’re the sickness and not the cure?” (10-11) This is a sort of rhetorical question that the speaker uses to let his bad side know he has caught on to his plan. He then says that he will not take it anymore with the lines “Too long I’ve faked this addiction, another sacrifice to make us pure” (12-13). By “faked this addiction” he means that he has pretended to be stuck and unable to get away from the bad things that are overtaking him, when in reality he has just been too lazy to try (12). He knows he can get away, and this is what he is saying in the second line. He is sacrificing his comfort and his wants in order to save the good that is left of himself, and to purify what has been infected.

The first half of the bridge consists of one line repeated, changed only slightly each time, but not changed enough to affect the meaning. The repetition hints that this is a very important part of the song and of the struggle; a point the speaker wants to be sure to get across to the listener. It may, at first, look like the bad side is taking over again and making the speaker forget the rule that many people try to live by: forgive and forget. In this case, the speaker is using his un-forgiveness against his dark side. “I won’t forget, I cannot forget this. I won’t forget, I’ll never forget this. I won’t forget, I’ll never forget” (14-16). The speaker is letting his dark side know that he will always remember the important lesson he has learned and the things that have been revealed to him about the dark side. He will never again trust it to take over his life, and he will never again fall into it’s trap.

In the second half of the bridge, the speaker says “I know I can never prove this illusion, you aren’t the one that I thought you were” (17-18). He is now bringing up yet another characteristic of his bad side. He is directly addressing it as a liar. He is basically saying here that the illusion that his bad side could heal him, which he mentioned in the chorus, is so outrageous and unbelievable that he could never prove it and can not believe he once fell for it. He continues with “And so I learned to embrace this delusion, the line that separates us starts to blur” (19-20). He states that he learned to embrace it. He has to be taught to believe his bad side. It was not his original instinct, but over time he has learned to simply give in. He has been coming closer every day to becoming completely consumed by this.

The concluding stanza, the ending of the song, repeats a few lines from earlier parts of the song. The speaker repeats these lines for emphases, showing that they are the most important lines of the song. “And you will be the death of me, you will be the death of me. I won’t forget, I cannot forget this. And you will be the death of me” (21-24). He is emphasizing the words “you will be the death of me” to show the ultimate consequences of living on the dark side. It may seem fun for a while, but it will result in a truly unhappy life, a mental and emotional death, and eventually maybe an early physical death. The reason he sticks the “cannot forget this” line right in the middle of the other three lines is because he is noting that in order to avoid the death from his dark side, he has to remember this time in his life (23). If he forgets, he could fall into the same trap again, and he is once again emphasizing that line because he recognizes the extreme importance of it to his situation.

Because of the symbolism in this song, almost anyone can relate to it. Even if a person has not been in a situation as dark or as serious as the song seems to tell about, everyone must, at some point in life, decide to take control of themselves instead of being overtaken by selfishness, laziness, non-motivation, and greed. If this song had been written about a personal experience with another person, few people could relate to it and fully enjoy it. Because of the symbolism used, the song has been given a much greater meaning that can be applied to anyone’s life.


Listen to "Death of Me": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiLwrFI5Fv8