Choklit Blog #46: The Baked Chronicles: Volume 5

June 29-July 2, 2010

  I destroyed something.  I feel powerful.  Important lesson #10: Destroying things makes me feel powerful.

  I was making coffee cake... and working very hard on it.  After I had slaved over it all day hour, it was ready to go in the oven.  It decided to go on the floor instead.  All I can say is at least it wasn’t as bad as the time I ruined fifteen pounds of sugar at school.  

  So far, this is the only time I’ve really destroyed something here.  But I thought I ruined something else this week.  I was making joconde and I was supposed to put melted butter in it.  I put the butter in the microwave, and someone must have opened the door when it was finished because I forgot all about it.  Important lesson #11: If you didn’t set the timer, don’t turn it off without notifying the person who did set it.

  The joconde was used to make some interesting... things.  I’m not even sure what to call them, but I really wanted to eat one.  The joconde (which was decorated with orange decor paste) was cut into rectangles, brushed with a little bit of cocoa butter, and used to line metal tube molds, with a round piece of joconde covering one end.  Rice pudding and orange mousse were piped into the middle, then they were frozen, removed from the molds, and garnished with some cool-looking candied orange peel.  I also ate candied orange peel for the first time ever.  I was shocked that it actually tasted good.  Important lesson #12: Candying things makes them taste good.

  I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only one to make mistakes this week.  On Tuesday I was given a list of cupcakes to make, which included carrot cupcakes.  It turned out we were a whole kilo short on carrots.  I seem to always be the one running out of ingredients.  Conspiracy?  Maybe.

Choklit Blog #45: The Baked Chronicles: Volume 4

June 22-25, 2010

  Ever since my first day at Baked, I’ve been working the mid baking shift.  I’ve made like a ton of cookie dough and cinnamon buns and all that stuff, but I’ve never really done anything else.

  Until now.

  This week I got to “work” in the front with the baristas, and I finally got to do some decorating.  I was hoping to decorate an actual cake, but I guess cupcakes are close enough for now.  Of course, some of the icing was so insanely loose that it was kind of like piping water on top of cupcakes.  I think I got the hang of it eventually.  Important lesson #8: I was not born to pipe icing on top of cupcakes.

  “Working” out front was pretty awesome.  The baristas didn’t have anything for me to do, so they were just like “We don’t need to train you to work out here because you won’t be doing it normally.”  Important lesson #9: Always wear makeup to work in case you’re called upon to “stand there and look pretty.”

  This week, I said goodbye to the thing that has been my enemy for the past month: cinnamon buns.  I was told that I will never have to make them again because they’re so horrible.  Unfortunately, I also made some new enemies.  The coconut macaroons from week one came back to haunt me.  Apparently I did scoop them wrong; they needed to be packed tighter.  Now I had to shape them into triangles and they all wanted to fall apart.  They turned out kind of ugly.  I also made galettes for the first time.  They’re like little pie things full of almond cream, berries, and pure evil.  The dough was so thin that I accidentally ripped the bottom of one open as I was sliding it onto the sheet pan.  But no one noticed while I was still there, so it’s all good.

Choklit Blog #44: The Baked Chronicles: Volume 3

June 15-18, 2010.

  I officially hate cinnamon buns.

  I’ve made cinnamon buns every week I’ve been at Baked, and due to the fact that my hands always feel really gross after spreading out the cinnamon filling, I hate them with a burning passion.  Important lesson #6: Cinnamon buns are only your friend when you’re eating them.

  Besides that, I’ve discovered some pretty awesome things this week.  For example, the robot coupe has a really cool shredder attachment that I didn’t know existed.  Granola has to be baked on these rubbery mats called silpat.  A large coffee cake takes longer to bake than a small coffee cake.  Important lesson #6: Always ask “Am I doing this right?” or “Is there an easier way to do this?”

  I got to help make some bars for the first time this week, and I think I can honestly say I was not born to make PBK bars.  After accidentally dumping half of the peanut butter/chocolate filling on the table under the scale (Important lesson #7: Sheet pans are not very deep), I found out that I’m apparently not capable of making peanut butter/chocolate filling perfectly smooth.  I later found out that I’m also not capable of making chocolate glaze perfectly smooth, or anywhere close to anything resembling anything that looks nice.  The grasshopper bars were a little easier because I’m used to smoothing out butter cream.  They remind me of a mint chocolate chip cake I made once, but my cake was better because it had no butter cream.  I’m not a fan of butter cream.

  This week was obviously pretty uneventful, except for when I under-baked the coffee cake and made it collapse.  That was kind of not too good.

Choklit Blog #43: The Baked Chronicles: Volume 2

June 8-11, 2010.

  “Welcome to a real kitchen, Violet.  There’s no room and there are too many people.”  That’s definitely the quote of this week.  There are two worktables in the kitchen: one against the wall, and one in the middle of the room that's about the size of two normal tables.  All last week, I was working at the table against the wall with the whole thing to myself.  Now I realize what an unrealistically huge work space that is.  Important lesson #4: Contrary to popular belief, a commercial kitchen provides much less work space than your home kitchen.

  This week, I’ve been confined to the corner of a table, and it’s not the easiest place to be when you have to make hundreds of cookies, dozens of cupcakes, and a few cakes.  On the other hand, it’s great when you’re trying to socialize with your co-workers.

  I don’t think I made any significant, life-altering mistakes this week, but I did manage to ruin a little bit of maple buttercream by putting it in chocolate whoopie pies instead of vanilla buttercream.  The whoopies were saved, but unfortunately, the buttercream had to be thrown out.  May it rest in peace.  Important lesson #5: Maple and chocolate just don’t go together.

  One item on the menu here has raised my curiosity.  I made cream biscuits this week, and they seem like normal enough biscuits, except they have no butter.  I don’t understand why anyone in their right mind would have any desire to make a biscuit with no butter.  I overheard some employees talking about how insanely heavy the biscuits are, but I’m determined to try one myself before my ten weeks are over.

Choklit Blog #42: The Baked Chronicles: Volume 1

June 1-4, 2010.

Week one.  I should have known that I would injure myself within the first ten minutes of starting this job, but I somehow didn’t know myself well enough to predict that.  Important lesson #1: The outside of the oven is hot!

I wasn’t expecting to scoop several hundred cookies on my first day, but as the unpaid intern, I guess I should have also predicted I would be doing something “easy” that no one else wants to do.  Important lesson #2: Lift weights before going to work in a bakery.

Day two would have been better without the coconut macaroons.  First I accidentally replaced part of the shredded coconut with coconut flakes.  Then I was absolutely sure I had to be scooping them wrong, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to redo them all.  How many different ways can there be to scoop cookies anyway?

One thing I learned this week about working at Baked is that it’s not a typical kitchen.  Everyone here is-- gasp-- friendly!  Socialization is pretty much more important than actual skills.  I’m not quite sure if I like that, but oh well, I’ll be spending three days a week here for the next ten weeks of my life whether I like it or not.

I also found out how to burn marshmallows using a blowtorch.  That wasn’t really my goal, but at least if someone ever hands me a blowtorch and asks me to burn some marshmallows, I’ll know how to do it!  After using and/or burning all the marshmallows, I had to make more, and I found out how disgusting marshmallows actually are.  Animal skin, corn syrup, and sugar?  Important lesson #3: Don’t eat too many marshmallows.

Choklit Blog #41: What Makes Music "Christian"?

The definition of “Christian music” has always been a little hazy.  Some think of hymns and old church choruses, while others would call anyone who claims religion a “Christian artist”.  Many teenagers have argued against their parents for the latter, while many “Christian artists” have been bashed for not keeping the standards of the former.  But what is this undefined thing known as “Christian music”?

The most common assumption I’ve heard about “Christian” music is that it always says “God”, “Jesus”, “Lord”, “Christ” or some variation in every song.  I’ve been asked plenty of times “How is this Christian?  What does it have to do with God?”  Well I know this may be a huge shocker to some, but a song can still be considered “Christian” without including the word “God” or any variation.  

Second Timothy 3:16 says “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness.”  The entire book of Esther does not mention God one time!  

So how can you call a song or band “un-Christian” for not specifically naming God, when an entire book of the God-breathed Bible doesn’t even do that?  Well, by being wrong.  But that’s not really the goal here.

Another thing that’s often used to define “Christian” music is its sound.  I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “That doesn’t sound Christian!”, usually in reference to some style of rock.  

Well, when you show me the passage of scripture that says “Thou shalt not distort thine guitars”, “Thou shalt not scream”, or “Thou must conform to the style of music that sounds most peaceful and calm to thine ears”, then I’ll listen to that argument.  But for now, I’m sticking with Psalm 150:2-5: “Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals.”

The clash of cymbals?  Resounding cymbals?  That doesn’t sound like Amazing Grace to me.  These verses tell us to praise the Lord with all different styles of music, so how can we say that a sound is “un-Christian”?

There are also four different verses -- maybe more -- that command us to “sing to the Lord a new song” (Psalm 96:1, 98:1, 149:1; Isaiah 42:10).  The old classics in the Baptist Hymnal are great, but we’re told to sing a new song... to use the creativity God has given us, and not just go along with what Christians have always considered to be the holy style of music.

So now that we know what does not define “Christian” music, what does define it?

My first rule of Christian music is that it’s made by a Christian artist.  Am I saying that all secular music is bad to listen to?  No, but why would you even call it “Christian” music if the artist, and therefore their music, has absolutely nothing to do with Christianity?  It just would not make sense.  Thanks, Captain Obvious.

I’m gonna go slightly off-topic for a minute here.  Now I know I said that not all secular music is bad to listen to; and it’s not.  But I do think it’s a bad idea for Christians to be too supportive of and involved with a secular artist.  Music has an impact on most people; it can affect the way we dress, the way we talk, the way we walk, the way we think.  I mean, how many stories have you heard of the girl who didn’t kill herself because her favorite band said not to?  Or she did because her favorite singer did it?  In today’s society, people depend on music for their identity, for motivation, for opinions.  And bands depend on fans to support them.  Most people think of marriage when they read 2 Corinthians 6:14-16: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”  That doesn’t just apply to marriage; it applies to every aspect of life, including the dependency between you and your favorite band.

Back on topic.  Ephesians 5:1 basically defines a Christian’s goal in life: “Be imitators of God”.  As I mentioned earlier, the “God-breathed” Bible is “useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16).  As imitators of God, our words should also be useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, and so should the words of Christian artists.

Sometimes a formerly Christian artist will decide to go more mainstream by incorporating ungodly things into their music, like inappropriate content or profanity.  At this point, it really can’t be considered “Christian” music anymore because it goes against God’s word.  Does that mean their old CDs you bought 5 years ago are now “un-Christian”?  No.

A common misconception is that “Christian” lyrics always have to be happy, because depression and sadness don’t glorify God.  Take a look at the book of Psalms.  David, a man after God’s own heart, was depressed sometimes... and he wrote songs about it!  Or look at the book of Lamentations.  Just the name of the book sounds like a downer.

The idea of “Christian” music isn’t to disguise or hide all the bad things in life; the purpose is to glorify God, despite those things.  A “Christian” song can be about anything from crying to God in a time of hopelessness, to expressing affection for something or someone.

I’ll end with this: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8)... and sing about them, too.

Choklit Blog #40: Celebrity Apprentice Recap!

The task this week was remodeling an apartment.

RockSolid was Sharon (manager), Curtis, and Maria. Tenacity was Holly (manager), Bret, and Cyndi.

Curtis wore a shirt that looked like he stole it from 1978. In his interviews, all of the hair on the right side of his head was standing straight up.

Tenacity wanted to do a super relaxing Buddhist-zen-type apartment with a giant Buddha, because obviously that can't offend anyone. They also wanted one crazy red room designed by Cyndi as their required "celebrity room."

Cyndi was hard to work with, so she was assigned to design the crazy room.

RockSolid designed a modern-and-expensive-looking apartment full of awesomeness and such. They got a little behind, but they called their friends to help them.

Curtis made the kitchen look really awesome. He also proved himself right when he had said the week before that Sharon and Maria didn't like him because they hadn't worked with him. They fell in love with him.

Tenacity's apartment looked small and cluttered, but the representatives liked their celebrity room. RockSolid's apartment was awesome, but their celebrity room was kind of normal.

Sharon seriously needed to keep her hands and lips off of Curtis in the board room. She's way too old for him. Maria was clearly jealous because Sharon kissed Curtis, and Maria thinks Curtis is hot, although she's insisted for several weeks that she's always disliked him.

Maria was happy, though, because Curtis had given her "the biggest hug ever" so she stole half of Sharon's hug, too. Which is probably why Sharon felt the need to kiss him and make Maria jealous. Do not steal hugs from Sharon Osbourne.

Sharon also wants Curtis to marry her daughter. Supposedly. She really wants him for herself.

Cyndi had on too much makeup. She looked a bit scary.

Donald had fun watching Holly and Cyndi argue, while Bret calmly waited for them to shut up. Donald got bored with Bret and decided to drag him into it. Cyndi was lame and doesn't play well with others, so she got fired. No more money for her activist group.

I tried REALLY hard not to squeal.