Even though these are all numbered, they are in no particular order. I just thought it would seem more dramatic and interesting if I counted them down as if I was slowly working my way to the one thing that bothers me more than anything in the world. But no… that’s not how it works.
#10 People sitting on my bench. There’s a bench at my school that I basically own. I practically live on it, and I frequently get comments from people about how much time I spend there. There should be a plaque over that bench with my name on it. But some days, when I get to my bench to sit down, someone is already sitting there… and it’s never just “someone.” It’s always several people who are quite large, with about a foot of space between each of them. That way, they can take up my entire bench.
(Actually, sometimes it is just one person. That doesn’t bother me, though.)
#9 Slacking off. I’m sure anyone reading this has heard the horror stories of all the slackers I’ve ever met in my entire life. I’m especially annoyed by people who slack off in college. I honestly do not understand the mentality that says “This is going to count toward my grade. I think I just won’t do it. Maybe I’ll turn it in a week late. Why come to class? It’s just my grade. I think I’ll walk in twenty minutes late every day.” If you’re not going to do the work, don’t pay to go to college. Please… for all of our sakes.
#8 Stupid questions. My favorite stupid question was asked halfway through the year in my ninth grade spanish class: “Mr. Cancino, what does buenos dias [pronounced “byoonis die-us”] mean?” Mr. Cancino had greeted us every morning so far by saying “buenos dias.” Although it was funny, I felt like beating my head against a brick wall to cleanse my mind from the stupidity it had just endured. I also just love when people use class time to ask questions that are answered in the syllabus, or questions that the teacher has just answered ten times. And please don’t ask me about something you have no reason to care about, or about what I just said to someone else.
#7 Bad writing. I know it’s cruel to be so aggravated by something that so many people can’t help, but if I was only bothered by things that people can help, then… well, I would still be annoyed by a lot of things. Anyway, I’m always very greatly displeased when I attempt to read something, but I can’t because there’s no punctuation, half of the words don’t actually exist, and the writer has completely changed direction in middle of a sentence. I also hate when someone writes a paper or a blog or something like that, and it has no direction, organization, or flow… it’s just a collection of random sentences about the same topic. If you can’t write, please please please don’t write.
#6 Poorly written song lyrics. This is, in fact, different from bad writing. Bad writing applies more to things that are intended to be read, unlike song lyrics, which are intended to be put to music and listened to. When someone writes a song that is completely uncreative and unoriginal, has no interesting words, has a boring rhyme scheme, and/or lacks any sort of substance, then that person should promptly throw their song lyrics into a really big fire. That’s right, Ke$ha (I mean, Ket¢hup), your songs should be burned at the stake.
#5 Girls who insist that they’re ugly and fat. Believe it or not, girls, I’m getting quite tired of going on Facebook to see you comment on every single picture of yourself that “ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! like i luk sssoooooooo uglllyyyyyy heerrrr!!!! deleettteeee!!!!!” Everyone is probably ugly in someone’s eyes. Everyone is also probably attractive in someone’s eyes. Ugliness is subjective and cannot accurately be declared as a fact. If you think you’re ugly and you wish you looked like someone else, then you would probably still feel the same way if you looked different. You’re not ugly- you’re insecure. It’s not helping you any to let the whole world know it.
#4 People who beg celebrities to tweet them back or reply to them on Facebook. It’s especially annoying when said celebrity replies and encourages such behavior. Why don’t you have anything better to do with your time? And don’t you think celebrities get annoyed by people who act like that? Does it make you happy to think your favorite celebrity is sitting there going “WHY won’t this person just shut up already?!?!” I think it’s hilarious, though, when girls who are like thirteen take a picture with a band, post it on Facebook, tag the band members, and then comment back and forth “aren’t they like super hotties??????” “yeah, they’re soooo hot!!!!” “i’m totally marrying all of them!!!!” It’s not like they’re going to comment back “You’re hot too! Let’s get married!” If they see your comments, they’ll most likely think you’re creepy and stay away from you.
#3 Improperly pronounced words. When people say words wrong, it sounds to me like fingernails on a chalkboard. Welcome to perfectionism. If I correct you, it’s because I care too much about you to let you embarrass yourself in front of the entire world. Or it might be because I’m starting to feel physical pain.
#2 Teenagers in “relationships.” Now, I’m not saying I have a problem with people dating if they’re under the age of twenty... plenty of people get married when they’re eighteen and nineteen. What I have a problem with is people (usually girls, and usually under the age of sixteen) who “date” someone (which doesn’t actually mean they go on dates since neither of them is old enough to drive), then go around saying they’re in love, they’re never going to break up, they promise nothing will ever change and they’ll be in love forever... and then a week later they’re with someone else, saying the same things about that person. Just the amount of pure ignorance required to act like this blows my mind. Please grow up.
#1 Confinement. Being confined in any way, shape, or form scares me. The end.
