Choklit Blog #34: 10 Ridiculous Lines From My iTunes Library

Everyone, at some point in their life, has listened to a song and thought “Wow... why on earth was that line put in this song?” Or maybe not everyone. But people like me who pay really close attention to song lyrics have done that. I’m sure there are about a million in my iTunes library, but I can’t think of them all right now. Here are 10 that I can think of right now, in no particular order, and why they’re lame.

#10 - “Yours” by Tobymac

“Nobody ever told me that my doo-doo stunk.” Dear Mr. McKeehan, hate to break it to ya, but you’re an adult, and I’m pretty sure you’re older than my dad. Please start talking like one. Are your little kids rubbing off on you too much?

#9 - “X-Girlfriend” by Family Force 5

“I found out that she’s calling up my best friend, who said he’d never ever ever go and do this again.” This pretty much implies that your “best friend” has stolen your girlfriend before. So why is he your best friend? Stop complaining, it’s your own fault for having such a lame friend.

#8 - “Let It Go” by Manafest

“Feeling butt naked, my pride has been taken.” I think this is probably a great time to say TMI. We don’t really want to know what you feel like when you’re butt naked. Thanks for not telling us.

#7 - “Echelon” by Pillar

“We’re on the enemy’s hit list.” No, really?

#6 - “Bounce” by Thousand Foot Krutch

“It’s TFK, we rock the party.” This song is not from the 90s... it’s from 2003. There is no excuse for a forced rhyme like this. And if you really rock the party, why do you have to announce it as if no one knew?

#5 - “Fireflies” by Owl City

“But I’ll know where several are if my dreams get real bizarre, ‘cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar.” The fact that a dude is singing about keeping fireflies in a jar is just weird. I don’t think your dreams are the only thing getting real bizarre.

#4 - “Dear Slim” by KJ-52

“See I can relate to you ‘cause son I’m about as old as you.” Why would you call someone “son” and then immediately tell them that you’re about the same age? That seems either derogatory toward him or conceited.

#3 - “The Vinyl Countdown” by Relient k

“It’s all the same with all the kids, no one knows what vinyl is.” Actually, when I said something to my parents about a band I listen to selling vinyl, they were like “Huh? Vinyl? Oh, you mean records.”

#2 - “Bring ‘Em Out” by Hawk Nelson

“Pretty baby, don’t you know I’ll treat you right. I’ll go crazy if you pass me up tonight.” Dude, why don’t you just get down on your knees and beg and start threatening? This sounds like a real-life Fatal Attraction. A potential restraining order, at least.

#1 - “Catchafire” by Tobymac

“Whoopsi daisy, whoopsi daisy, whoopsi daisy, come we gonna catch that fire.” Even when I LOVED Tobymac and this was like my favorite song by him, I still thought the lyrics were stupid!

Choklit Blog #33: Courage

Two nights ago I had an interesting dream. It started off in my house, playing a game with my mom and a friend of hers. We all three had guns and we were shooting at each other; my mom and I were one team, and the other guy was his own team. These were real guns, by the way. My mom was shooting at the guy, not very well hidden, because on our side of the house there wasn’t really any cover that we could get behind and still have a good shot at the guy. So I was behind a wall, crouched down and shaking, and my mom was just out kinda out in the open, crouched down shooting across the house. The guy on the other side had a bush to hide behind. Not that bullets can’t penetrate bushes. But this was a dream, so maybe they couldn’t; although he did start shooting the wall and chipping away little pieces of it to hit me. So maybe they could penetrate bushes. But anyway, I was too scared, so I told my mom I wasn’t playing anymore and ran out the back door into the yard. I came back in after a few minutes, once the game had stopped. The guy said he was going home and he would see us later, then jokingly pointed his gun at me. At first I was scared by the fact that he had pointed a gun at me, but then I remembered that it wasn’t loaded. Because that makes it safe.

I’m not quite sure what happened between that and the next part of the dream, but the next thing I remember is being in my house with my best friend Joy, my brother Brent, my dad, and another friend named Nicole [this Nicole person was not someone I recognized from real life after I woke up. I’m guessing she was supposed to be my online friend Nicole.] Oh yeah, and Jon Micah from Kutless. And then there were a bunch of guys with machine guns. I think they were Nazis or something, but I’m not really sure. If they were, this wouldn’t be the first dream I’ve had about being taken captive by Nazis. So these Nazi machine gun guys gave a handgun to Jon Micah, and another one to... I don’t remember who they gave the other one to. Maybe there was another person there. Or it may have been Nicole. But that’s not really important. They told Jon Micah that he was going to execute my dad, and they told the other gun person that they were going to execute my brother. All of a sudden, we were all in the backyard of my old house in my hometown. The setting and number of people present is constantly changing in my dreams. That’s probably why I can’t remember the second gun person. There were 3 machine gun guys, and then the rest of us. I think they were going to shoot Nicole too, but Joy and I hadn’t been told we were going to die or anything. Well, my grandma’s house was right next door to mine, and we each had a fence around our backyard that was like 7 feet tall. The Nazi guys couldn’t see over it. I asked them if I could just walk away for a minute and take a quick break because I was really stressed out. They said yes. So I went into my grandma’s backyard and rang her back doorbell. I only rang it once, though, when I heard how loud it was. It pretty much shook the whole house. So I quickly ran to the other side of the yard behind the shed. I didn’t see anyone look over the fence, but I was afraid they would be over there any second to kill me, so I jumped the fence on the other side and ran around to the front door. Now they hadn’t said I couldn’t go in a house, so I have no idea why I was so scared that they would kill me for it. But I didn’t want them to know where I was going, which is why I went to the front door. Of course it was unlocked. There are only guys next door with machine guns, why would you lock your front door? So I walk in and someone was there... at first it was my grandma, but then later she turned into Joy’s mom. So I’m not really sure who she was. But she was glad to see me alive, and I told her what had happened so far, which was basically nothing. I stayed there for a few minutes trying to think of a way I could stay safe and get everyone else into the house. While I was thinking, Brent and Joy ran in the front door. My plan was to get everyone in the house, then have my grandma walk calmly outside like an innocent bystander and get in her minivan and start the engine. Then we would all go outside and get in and she would drive away before the machine gun guys had a chance to see us over the 7-foot fence. We would drive away into the abyss and be safe forever. It was perfect. But there was really no way to get everyone out of the yard without the machine gun guys getting suspicious. Of course, they had already given 3 of us permission to just walk away, trusting we would come right back. We could have run right then, but I didn’t want to leave my dad and Nicole. I guess I didn’t really care about Jon Micah. I wasn’t sure whose side he was on anyway. So I asked them if Nicole had gotten out, and they told me she hadn’t. I decided to be the hero and go figure out how to save her and my dad. I walked outside and went into my grandma’s side yard [her house was on the corner]. Then I heard someone come to the front door and start ringing the door bell. It was the leader of the machine gun guys. I jumped the fence back into my grandma’s back yard and tried to go in the back door, but it was still locked. At this point, I was afraid to even knock or the machine gun guys might hear me. So I panicked instead. I went back into the side yard to listen for the guy at the front door. I peeked around the corner and he was there. I was scared out of my mind, so I stayed beside the house until I heard him leave. I walked into the front yard to go back in the house, but then I stopped and thought, “There’s no way I can get the two of them out of there by myself. I can’t make myself go over there because I’m too scared, and I can’t just leave them there. I know, I’ll pray!” So I prayed that I would be able to find a way to get them out, and that I wouldn’t be afraid. All of a sudden, my dad opened the gate and walked out of the yard. 


       Apparently, the machine gun guys had lost consciousness or something, and my dad and Nicole just walked right now. I have no idea what happened to Jon Micah. I still don’t know who’s side he was on.

Now, that ending wasn’t very exciting because all they did was walk out of the yard, and I think I remember someone pulling out a bag of frozen vegetables and dumping them on the ground. Not sure what was up with that. But either way, it wasn’t very cool. So when I halfway woke up, I made up my own alternate ending. After I prayed, I suddenly had this huge dose of courage and adrenaline. I walked to a spot few yards in front of the fence that was between me and everyone in the back yard. Throughout the dream, I had jumped several fences... but I didn’t just jump over them, I always grabbed the top of the fence and flipped myself over the top. And so from the spot where I was standing, I got a running start and flipped over the fence. I happened to know that the leader of the machine gun Nazis was standing just on the other side of the fence with his back to it. So when I flipped over the fence, my feet landed right in his face and knocked him out. I grabbed his machine gun before the other obviously dumb guys could do anything and shot them. I pointed the gun toward Jon Micah and yelled “Drop your weapon!” He put it down and was like “Whoa wait, I’m with you guys! I don’t wanna hurt anyone!” So I picked up everyone’s weapons and... well there was no real ending, other than that. I’m assuming everything ended up ok.

So anyway, that dream just made me think of three verses. The first one I thought of was Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (NKJV). The second was Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (NIV). The third was Romans 8:37: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (NIV). Whether you’re trying to save people from Nazis with machine guns, or just trying to survive everyday life, it’s always a mistake to try to do it by yourself. But with God’s help, we can do all things, all things work together for good, and we’re more than conquerors.

Choklit Blog #32: Anger

       Most people get angry at some point in their life. A lot of people see anger as a bad thing. They think it’s wrong to get angry, because anger is a negative emotion. A lot of Christians think that anger is an un-Christian attitude, and they should stay away from it. Romans 1:18 says “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness.” The word “wrath” is (according to my computer’s dictionary) defined as “extreme anger.” So basically what that verse is saying is that wickedness makes God extremely angry. Now skip ahead a few books to 1 Peter. Chapter one, verse fifteen says “But just as he who called you [God] is holy, so be holy in all you do.” But wait... didn’t I just say that God gets EXTREMELY ANGRY? Yep. Guess what. Anger isn’t a sin.


       The problem is what anger leads to. There are right ways to deal with anger, and there are wrong ways to deal with anger. First let’s look at the wrong way. According to Galatians 5:19-20, throwing a fit is not the right solution to anger. “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Wow. Now that we’ve cleared that up...

Ephesians 4:26-27 shows us some pretty helpful information on how to properly deal with anger. “‘In your anger do not sin’^[*]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Don’t sin! Don’t go beat someone up just because you’re mad. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. This could be taken two different ways; you could take it to literally mean “resolve all your problems before the day ends”, or you could take it figuratively. Or you could take it both ways. The literal meaning is pretty obvious. If your brother drives you to school every morning and today you were 15 minutes late for class because your brother wasn’t ready to go in time, don’t go to bed that night thinking about how you can get back at him, or how angry you are that he made you late for class. Resolve the issue as soon as possible.

The figurative meaning isn’t that hard to figure out either. “The sun [going] down” here could symbolize the end of your life. Either death or the end of the world. Jesus even uses similar symbolism in John 11:11 when he tells his disciples that Lazarus is dead. He tells them that Lazarus has “fallen asleep” and that He is going to “wake him up” (raise him from the dead). Job also uses sleep to refer to death: “Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb? Why were there knees to receive me and breasts that I might be nursed? For now I would be lying down in peace; I would be asleep and at rest” (Job 3:11-13). The end of the day, the sun going down, is normally when people go to sleep... and the end of a person’s life is normally when they die. Unless of course they don’t die, because they live until Jesus comes back to earth... “like a thief in the night” (1 Thessalonians 5:2). And it still ends with the night.

Now you may be wondering whether you need to deal with your anger before the end of each day, or just sometime before the end of your life. The answer is both. There are two different types of anger; we’ll call them short-term anger and long-term anger. Short-term anger occurs when something happens that makes you angry. Someone insults you, you make a stupid mistake, you lose something important. Then there’s long-term anger; anger at something that’s ongoing. For example, the fact that there are hungry people in third-world countries makes you angry. That will always make you angry... not always as in every second of the day, but whenever you think about the starving people out there, you’ll get mad. It’s not something that can just be resolved easily. Short-term anger is the type of anger that needs to be resolved before the day is over; long-term anger is the type of anger that needs to be dealt with before your life is over.

So how do you deal with this anger? Psalm 4:4-5 says “In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord.” You have to make sacrifices. You may have to sacrifice your dignity and forgive someone who hurt you, or sacrifice your time and money to fight world hunger, but in order to get rid of your anger the right way, you have to be willing to make sacrifices. If people were intended to just dream away their anger, what would be the point of it? Anger motivates people to do things; without negative emotion, no one would ever have a reason to do anything useful. But if people aren’t willing to sacrifice their own comfort, they’ll never do anything useful anyway, and they’ll stay angry.

You should never go to bed at night angry for a reason that could have been resolved already, and if you do, it’s your responsibility to immediately forgive the person who caused your anger (even if that person is yourself). And when you’re a hundred years old lying on your death bed, you shouldn’t be thinking “Gosh, I wish I had done something to help those hungry children. I hope someone will someday.” You should be able to look back over your life and think of how glad you are that you did what you could to help fix the things in the world that God gave you an anger -- a passion -- for.

[*]Psalm 4:4

Choklit Blog #31: Forgiveness

I was sitting on a bench at school one day, bored out of my mind, waiting for my brother to get out of class. As I was waiting for him, I looked at my arm. It had a pretty good sized scar on it from something a little less than intelligent that one of my classmates had done. It was all his fault. He shouldn't have left that hot pot there. Anyway, I started thinking that I had hurt myself in class for some pretty stupid reasons... like the time I mistook a knife for a straight spatula, or the time I set my knife down then turned my head and ran my hand right into the knife blade. I was thinking about how nice it was that neither of those incidents had actually left permanent scars, so I won't have to tell those stories to people for the rest of my life... although I probably will. But I mean, who really wants to walk around culinary school talking about mistaking a slicer for a spatula? Not me. (A blog is completely different from culinary school...) But then I thought that if I had never gotten that injury, I would have never found out that I owned a slicer, and I could have hurt myself with it much worse later. You can only learn so much in life without making a few mistakes. And so in my insane boredom, I started to write about scars, and this was the end result:

I’ll wear my scars like stories

Of everything I’ve done

I’ll wear my scars like medals

For everything I’ve become

I’ll wear these scars ashamed

Of everything I was

I’ll wear these scars amazed

By everything You’ve done

Unexperienced

Burned and cut apart

Ignorant

Fell for every pretty piece of art

Oblivious

Thought this was the best

Deceptive

Turned this world into a mess

Careless

Said nothing could hurt

Denying

Blocked out every word

Rebellious

Threw away all thought

Numb

Felt no change of heart

I’ll wear my scars like stories

Of everything I’ve done

I’ll wear these scars like medals

For everything I’ve become

I’ll wear my scars ashamed

Of everything I was

I’ll wear these scars amazed

By everything you’ve done

Broken

Lost the other side

Weakened

Nothing left to fight

Fearful

Cannot trust in self

Hopeful

Crying for Your help

Regretting

Could have stayed away

Despising

Wishing back that day

Suffocating

Inhaled the poison dart

Relentless

Won’t be torn apart

I’ll wear my scars like stories

Of everything I’ve done

I’ll wear my scars like medals

For everything I’ve become

I’ll wear these scars ashamed

Of everything I was

I’ll wear these scars amazed

By everything You’ve done

Grateful

Couldn’t take the lies

Perceiving

Fixing broken eyes

Healing

Taking back this heart

Guilty

Trying to hide the scars

Precious

Worth more than mistakes

Beautiful

Even when this breaks

Filthy

Cursed by evil deeds

Forgiven

Finally I’m free

Choklit Blog #30: "Fiction" by Kids in the Way

This song didn’t make sense to me at all the first time I read the lyrics. Like I had no idea what it was about at all... until I read an interview somewhere that I vaguely remember, where KITW lead singer Dave Pelsue kind of explained the song. But of course, kind of explaining isn’t good enough for me. I have to know why each line was put in the song, and until I know that, I just can’t be happy and will be depressed and no I won’t really. Anyway.

In most of my song analyses, I start at the beginning of the song and explain each line until I reach the end of the song. I wanna start off with my basic understanding of the song, so as not to confuse people. Cool?

I think that this song is about trying to write your own reality. For example, lots of people try to be someone they’re not naturally because they’re not happy with reality. They want to write the story of their lives instead of living out the amazing story God has written and branded into their minds because He knows how to make their lives better than they can by themselves. Some people try to play God in their own world and change their personalities, their tastes, and their whole lives. That’s what the song is about... “We’re making fiction of our lives”... living in a fictitious, dangerous lie we’ve written.

So, the first verse starts with “I had the strangest dream, you were lost at sea / I found you drowning on the ocean floor” (1-2). The dreaming the mention here isn’t like “I feel asleep and saw something totally random that I had no control over” dreaming. It’s daydreaming. [Warning: This may get confusing right about now.] The speaker is daydreaming that he’s someone else... his true self is “lost at sea” and slowly dying (“drowning on the ocean floor”) so he can be someone else. In the next four lines, he says “I woke from my deep sleep to end the misery / And found you lying outside of my door / I tried to wake you up, to shake you up / And found out you were dead” (3-6). He comes to the realization that he’s losing himself and that he’s not really the person he’s trying to become, but he’s been faking for so long that he doesn’t remember who he really is. He finishes off the verse with “Like a leaf in the wind, you left me standing alone / To face the demons in my head” (7-8). The part about “a leaf in the wind” illustrates how easy it is to get sucked in by the desire to gain complete control of yourself. How hard is it for a leaf to blow away in the wind? Yeah. Exactly. The “demons in my head” are the false realities he’s created for himself. He let himself die to the truth and turn his life into a lie, and now he’s trying to get back but can’t figure out how to do that.

And now we come to the chorus. I love this song, by the way. Just in case anyone was wondering. “We’re making fiction of our lives” (9). I think I pretty well covered what that means. “Burning pages as we write” (10). When we try to make up our own reality, we’re never satisfied with our work, causing us to keep changing things until we’ve destroyed ourselves. “We read the lies between the lines” (11). Most of the world doesn’t typically encourage people to be true to themselves and lives the lives they were created for. It throws lies at us, telling us we need to be like someone else, and we’ve listened to them. “These dead letters won’t survive” (12). We’ve taken our own lives away; our fake selves will eventually crash and burn. “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free” Proverbs 19:5 (NIV).

One more thing I wanna point out about the chorus. The verse is all about “me”... the speaker. In the chorus, that changes. It starts off sounding like a personal song... possibly Dave’s way of being more down-to-earth and not sounding judgmental; introducing the conflict as a personal problem he has. But in the chorus he’s kind of saying, “Hey guess what. You’re doing the same thing! A lot of people have this problem, and you need to see that so you can fix it.”

And now on to verse two. “A dusty record spins, an old song plays again / The needle dragging across its skin / Ink spills through my pen, the paper soaks it in / The music bringing tremors to my hands” (13-16). In the first two lines, he’s just kind of saying “Here we go again. The same old thing as always.” The word “dragging” in line 14 kind of caught my attention... if that line had said something like “The needle moving across its skin” or “The needle sliding across its skin”, it would have definitely lost some of the affect. It really adds to the whole “This is super boring and lame” factor. In the next two lines, he clearly states that he is writing. Duh. But of course, that’s a metaphor. I love metaphors. The music he mentions “bringing tremors to my hands” is the influences on his life that are effecting the changes in his fake self that he’s creating here. This part reminds me of the “burning pages as we write” line from the chorus. It just shows that he’s been writing for a long long time, getting very bored with it, but he must keep writing because he’s not yet satisfied. Write a page. Not good enough. Burn it. And so on.

He continues verse two with “I can’t just give you up, just lift you up / To chance on a dragonfly’s wings / With my love in the wind / You left me standing alone / Hoping it brings you back to me” (17-21). I get this mental image when I read this of someone standing on the side of a cliff. They have some insanely important object that needs to be taken across a ridiculously large canyon to someone on the other side. Imagine that you’re this person. [No, I am not encouraging you to pretend that you are this person or to become this person. Just imagine it for a second. You can come back to reality when we’re done. I promise.] Would you just toss this important thing on a dragonfly’s back and hope he flew it to the other side. Um, probably not. A dragonfly can’t really support anything that weighs anything. Good job, you can open your eyes now. Now he’s hanging onto his fake story, afraid to let go of it in an attempt to regain himself. He doesn’t see much chance of getting his life back so he’s afraid to give up the little bit that he has left. But he’s still hopeful... he’s hoping that his newfound love for truth will bring back his old self (“hoping it brings you back to me”), while his love for the world (“my love in the wind”) was the wind that drove it away.

The bridge is pretty easy to figure out now. “We are not poets / We have no right to make amendments / This story’s over, this chapter’s closing / I don’t know how it ends / But I really don’t like how it begins” (22-26). We are not the creators of ourselves and our lives, and therefore have to right to change the things (like our personalities) that God has created. I’m not saying we don’t have the right to make choices, because we do have that right. But trying to change ourselves by doing something that we don’t want to do and have no reason for doing, other than to be like someone else, is wrong. God has a plan for everyone... going outside of that would be “making amendments”; it’s not a right we have or need. After he acknowledges his complete stupidity and lack of respect for authority, he says that he’s going to change. This part of his life is over. He doesn’t like what he’s written, and so he’s going to submit to God’s will and let Him decide how it ends.

The line “We’re burning pages” is repeated twice at the very end of the song. “We’re burning pages, we’re burning pages now” (27-28). Once again, pages are being burned. We’re burning the rest of the pages we’ve written in exchange for true life.

So here you go... “Fiction” by Kids in the Way explained in plain, not-very-pretty English: “I started wanting to be someone else and imaging what it would be like, and then I turned myself into that person. That person is fake and I can never make myself happy trying to be that person. This isn’t who I am, and most of the world seems to be doing the same thing. God made you the way He knows you need to be, and you should just be that person. Don’t be a faker.” 

[NOTE: My explanation of this song turned out to be quite different from Dave Pelsue’s. I’m pretty sure I remember him saying this song was actually about musicians writing things as if they were about their own lives, when really they’re not, or something along the lines of that. But hey look, I made it apply to average people. Go me.] 

Listen to “Fiction”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2hQZdpSwko

Choklit Blog #29: Life Lessons From Whipped Cream (And how not to make it)

I made whipped cream for the first time a few months ago. I had never made whipped cream before, never tried to make whipped cream before, never really thought about how whipped cream was made before. I was in my Introduction to Bakeshop class. The recipe for Chantilly cream seemed pretty simple... put some sugar and heavy cream together, add a splash of vanilla, whip it, and there you have whipped cream.

Well, I had also never used heavy cream before. I didn’t realize it would be slightly thicker than milk. Very slightly. I was expecting to whip an extremely thick version of milk for about a minute or so while it magically turned fluffy.

I had also never really whipped anything before. I was using a whisk, but I can’t really say I was whipping it. It was more like... stirring. I’m sure I spent at least ten minutes on that whipped cream. I kept stopping and telling myself “This stuff isn’t getting any thicker... I don’t see how I’m supposed to make this liquid look like Cool Whip!” Then I would stir it for a few more minutes, moving slowly and stopping about a million times because my arm hurt. From my perspective, the cream would never be whipped. Never. It wasn’t going anywhere. It had been liquid for 30 whole seconds of “whipping”, and therefore was defective and could not be whipped. So why not just take my time?

Since that day, I’ve voluntarily made whipped cream at home plenty of times. In fact, I actually like making now. Why? I mean, it pretty much makes my whole arm lock up, and it makes my arm really sore... and if I overwhip it, I wasted my time. But when I do whip the cream the right amount, and I actually whip it (as opposed to stirring it with a whisk), I end up with light, fluffy, sweet amazingness and I can get it done pretty fast. It tastes really good, and it’s also pretty cool to watch a bowl of white liquid turn into... well, whipped cream.

Now, given the choice between stirring a bowl of white water for 20 minutes with no end result, or whipping the heck out of that same white water for 5 minutes and getting a completely awesome result, which would you chose?

If you picked the first option, please go try both of these and see which one you like better. If you picked the second option, good for you. You can just read about making whipped cream instead of doing it yourself.

Ok, so you picked the second option. But if you had never made whipped cream before (and also had not read this blog), what are the chances you would end up stirring it for 20 minutes?

The first time I made whipped cream, I wasn’t motivated to put any effort into it, because I had never experienced the end result... but when I saw what I got out of it, I realized how much better it was to just do it quickly and get the work out of the way so I could eat. A lot of people treat life that way... “If I can’t see what I’m getting out of this, I’m not putting in any effort.” The goal in life seems to be delaying discomfort as long as possible, instead of pushing through it and doing something worth all the discomfort; it seems to be necessary to know exactly what the end result will be, instead of trying to produce the best result you can imagine.

I recently made a pie completely from scratch for the first time ever. I started with a blank sheet of paper and a pen. I wrote a recipe, bought the ingredients, and made the pie. I spent about six hours making it. It didn’t turn out too bad... but it didn’t turn out great. I almost didn’t even try because I didn’t know how it would turn out, but I did it anyway. Do I regret it now that I wasted all that time and effort? No; it wasn’t wasted. Now that I’ve put so much effort into it, I feel the need to keep working on it until it is great. I learned a few things about making chocolate banana cream pie... like how much gelatin not to use. I think I’ll try meringue next time.

My point is that if you sit around waiting for someone to plan out your life and show you the end result of everything you’re supposed to do, you’ll be sitting until you die. God has a plan for your life, and He’ll tell you what to do, but He won’t always show you the end result... in fact, I’m sure that most of the time (if not all the time), He won’t show you the result. Romans 12:6-8 says “We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.” Do what you’re good at. Don’t think about how you would like to do it someday, or wait to do it when you’re more certain. Do it. Now. Right now...

How Not to Make Whipped Cream

Step 1: Pour 1 pint of cream into a stainless steel bowl.

Step 2: Add 2 ounces of sugar.

Step 3: Add a splash of vanilla.

Step 4: Whip cream to stiff peaks.

Step 5: Continue to whip cream.

Step 6: When you notice lumps, whip the cream more, until you have a bowl of water and nasty looking thick white stuff.

Step 7: Drain off all the water.

Step 8: Mash thick white stuff with a fork until smooth, draining off water when necessary.

Step 9: Salt to taste.

Step 10: Enjoy your butter.

Choklit Blog #28: Burning to My Death

Fire of Your love

Death of surrender

Whipping at my hair, ripping at my clothes

If just a spark could grab hold

My best defenses--denial and fear

I scream that This isn’t real

Ignore the Flame, hide the pain

What do I have to gain?

Temperatures rise, I close my blind eyes

You’re crossing this line

Fire of Your love

Death of surrender

Lips cracked, I breathe the smoke

Now I choke (It’s all or nothing)

Dive headfirst or die of thirst

And be forever cursed

I’m going in, sacrificing my skin

Flames crawling up to my chin

Temperatures rise, You open my eyes

I’m crossing this line

Fire of Your love

Death of surrender

Sweet scented air, now I’m aware

That my heart is bare

Frozen and blue, why I never knew

How much I need You

It melts away, my body decayed

Heart consumed by the Fire of You

Temperatures rise, I look in Your eyes

And erase invisible lines

Fire of Your love

Death of surrender

Choklit Blog #27: 10 Things I'm Still Thankful for the Day AFTER Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is obviously really awesome. For me, it usually consists of mostly eating and sleeping. Two of my favorite things. And on Thanksgiving, people are usually talking about how great their lives are and all the things they’re thankful for. But as soon as it’s over, everyone starts stressing like crazy about getting to Wal-Mart before 4 am and not getting killed in the stampede that they know will be directly behind them. The people who survive early morning shopping on Black Friday definitely have something to be thankful for, but since it’s not Thanksgiving, they’re not. And so I thought that this year, instead of posting my usual “Here’s 100 random things I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving” list (which is more like “Here’s 100 random things that exist”), I would wait until the next day and write about things I’m thankful for the day after Thanksgiving. (That is not what actually happened. I didn’t have time yesterday.) So here we go. Ten things I’m still thankful for after Thanksgiving.

#10 - Being skinny.

I had to go to a store today. I absolutely had to. My brother’s birthday is tomorrow and I had not bought him anything yet. FYI: Never have a baby in late November, and don’t allow your parents to either. Most likely, you will end up having to buy birthday gifts for anyone who happens to be your child or your parents’ child. If that person is born in late November and you typically don’t buy people birthday gifts until the day before their birthday, you may end up having to go emergency shopping on Black Friday. But if you’re skinny, it’s not so bad. You can just turn sideways and squeeze between people quite easily, so when people in front of you forget there are other people in the world and walk as slowly as possible, you don’t end up waiting in line to get out the door.

#9 - Washing Machines.

When I got home from my long day of shopping, I realized that there were like 5 piles of clothes and towels in the hall waiting to be washed... at 5 pm. And of course, my whole family had come up with great excuses to not be home... “I have to buy Brent a birthday card”, “I’m going to...” oh wait, the other three didn’t tell me where they were. Nevermind. But either way, I was home alone with a ton of laundry to wash, and I was tired and hungry. If anyone thinks I would have whipped out my scrub board and hand washed all those clothes, they may as well donate their brain to science now because they obviously don’t use it. But since this is not the 1800s, I threw the clothes in the washer and went downstairs to eat. Unfortunately, I ended up emptying the dishwasher instead. Then I ate.

#8 - Leftovers.

What do you think I ate today? They’re amazing and you know it. If you cook a big enough turkey, you can eat it for another week or so. No cooking required. Pull it out of the fridge, scrape off the mold, and eat.

#7 - Email.

After I ate, i started working on my final project for my Nutrition class. It’s due on Tuesday, so there’s no more class until the day it’s due. I have to use this lame website to analyze my food intake for three days, and it’s not really making sense to me. The directions for the project say to analyze your food intake for each day using this website, but I could only figure out how to get the nutritional information for each food separately. So I ended up putting every food I ate for three days into the website and saving the pages with the nutritional info on them. Half of my computer screen is now covered by icons. I’m pretty sure I don’t really need to print that many pages. And all of that doesn’t even give me the information I need to fill out some other sheet that I have to turn in. So I stopped working and emailed my teacher. Then I watched TV and wrote a blog.

#6 - Dogs.

I’ve been feeding the neighbors’ cats for the last few days, and this is my opinion of them: they’re boring, they’re lazy, they have sharp claws, and you can’t punish them for using the bathroom in the house. Why would anyone want to own one? Get a dog.

#5 - Project Playlist.

Why would I buy music when I can listen to it on there for free? All I have to do is find a song I like, listen to it until I get sick of it, and then stop listening to it and be glad I didn’t waste my money on that boring song that I can’t believe I ever listened to. And plus it’s a great alternative around this time of year to the music playing on the radio... the Muppets’ 12 Days of Christmas, something that sounds like it should be on a black and white movie, and Christmas Shoes? No thank you.

#4 - Paring Knives.

My practical exam in HOS 101 is on Monday. Why did I remind myself of that? Anyway, I have to do all these crazy vegetable cuts that have to be exactly perfect. I normally do them all with my chef’s knife, but when you have to cut a perfect 1/16 inch cube, a chain saw is not the best tool to have. Not that I have a chain saw, but it would be really cool if I did. But I only have about 6 knives, and apparently I didn’t realize that any of the others worked... except the slicer... the one I mistook for a spatula. It works. Well in class this past Monday, one of my classmates reminded me that I could use my paring knife. Gasp.

#3 - Fences.

How many times can one dog really ask to go outside in an hour? My dog has probably asked that many times. In fact, my dad just opened the door to let her out again. But if I had to put a leash on her and walk outside with her every time she wanted to stand on the back porch and look around, I’m not sure which would kill me first -- hypothermia or exhaustion. But I would definitely be gone within the hour.

#2 - Arch Supports.

People with arches (aka people whose feet haven’t yet been amputated or otherwise removed) cannot comfortably wear Chucks while walking around for several hours--unless they have arch supports. Walking around with no arch supports for long periods of time gives me the mental image of a lot of pressure being put right on the center of my foot from the top, forcing my foot to break in half and collapse. That seriously does not make your feet feel better when they’re hurting. Disclaimer: Arch supports do not actually make walking for several hours a delightful experience. I’m sorry, but nothing will ever do that. My feet were still killing me by the time I got home.

#1 - Jesus.

Really, what is there to be thankful for if you don’t exist? And how can you exist if no one creates you? And what’s the point of existing if you’re not on your way to heaven? And if there’s not point in existing, why would you exist? And if you don’t exist, what is there to be thankful for? Probably not paring knives, arch supports, leftovers, dogs, email, fences, Project Playlist, washing machines, or being skinny. Probably definitely not anything.

There ya go. Happy after Thanksgiving.

Choklit Blog #26: "Chasing Shadows at Midnight" by Pillar

The song “Chasing Shadows at Midnight” by Pillar doesn’t seem that hard to figure out. It’s obviously about an old friend who betrayed the speaker and lied to him, right? Well that’s what I always thought, until I looked closer at the lyrics. (Actually, I think that’s what the original intention of the song was. I’ve never asked them, but whenever I get the chance to meet them, I’ll be sure to ask.)

The first verse of the song says “Next time I try / to cross your mind / Remind me to look both ways / so I don’t get hit by your lies” (1-4). It sounds like a somewhat clever stab at the person the song is about, which it is, but it also sort of conceals the fact that this song is (like “Death of Me”, the last song I wrote about) written to the speaker, from himself. The first part is easy to figure out... “Next time I try to cross your mind.” The only definition I have ever heard of crossing someone’s mind, is being thought of by that person. I don’t think he was literally talking about walking across some dude’s brain. But then again, I’ve never asked. In my opinion, that’s not what he’s saying. So “Next time you think of me, remind me to look both ways so I don’t get hit by your lies.” That doesn’t make much sense. I sat and stared at my computer screen for several minutes trying to come up with a way to reword that into English. Why would this apparent enemy remind the speaker not to get hit by his lies? And how would it really hurt the speaker if someone thought something bad about him? It wouldn’t... unless the person thinking ill of him, making some plan to harm him, or thinking incorrect things about him was... ready?... gasp... himself.

I need to interrupt myself for a minute here. I realize that this is basically the same exact thing I got out of “Death of Me.” I do not purposely only analyze songs about the good vs. evil battle in a person’s mind. There are just a lot of songs about that, and I didn’t even realize until I had already decided on this song that this was one of them. Anyway...

In those first few lines, the speaker is basically telling himself “Next time I think about myself, I need to stop lying to myself about myself before I do more damage than I’ve already done.” Then he tells himself, “You lacerate me with all of / these memories / And now I wear these scars out on my sleeve” (5-7). At one point, it was just an internal struggle between good and evil, but now it’s gone too far and people are starting to notice that he’s changing. But, as most people tend to do, he’s only remembering the good things he’s done and forgetting the bad, which is causing him to not want to change even though he knows he has to.

The chorus begins with “These broken hearts / are left with scars / because of your lies” (8-10). Now we can see that he has hurt other people and left them scarred because of his apparent current state of evil over good. He may be referring to the lies he told himself, or the lies he told other people. Most likely both. He continues with “And all this time / it feels like I’m / chasing shadows at midnight” (11-13). The concept of chasing shadows at midnight was a little lost on me at first. For several years, actually. I never thought about it very hard until the other day. I pictured someone outside at midnight running around after shadows. First off, it seems ridiculous. Why on earth would you chase a shadow? What are you gonna do, catch it? Eat it? Kill it? You can’t do anything to a shadow... unless you turn off all the lights. Oh, wait, there is no light at midnight! Unless you count the moon and stars... but are those really bright enough to cast many shadows? I’m pretty sure they’re not. (I’m not really sure where this story is set, but we’re gonna say there aren’t many streetlights around, because I really think streetlights would kind of ruin the concept a little.) So, chasing shadows at midnight is pointless and impossible. That’s what he feels like. Changing himself is pointless and impossible... if you remember what you read a minute ago about his memories being only of the good things he’s done in his current evil state, then it makes perfect sense. “I need to stop lying to myself. All I can remember are the good things I’ve done when somewhere deep down inside I know there’s something wrong. Everyone else can tell too. I’ve left so many people, including myself, scarred and broken hearted. Now I know I need to change, but it feels impossible and pointless because I keep on lying to myself.” If the band had just sung that, it wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting, but when you decipher it that’s what you get.

Now we come to verse two. “The days fade / and stars come out at night” (14-15). Days fade into night. Then stars come out. Wow, thanks so much for telling us. Are you implying that people who listen to your music aren’t smart enough to know that? It’s a hidden message... they’re trying to make America’s youth smarter. Thank goodness. It’s about time someone did it.

Not quite. It’s metaphorical... “the days fade” refers to the light in his life fading away slowly as evil and lies overtake him. It’s like John 3:19 says: “Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.” But then he says “stars come out at night.” Stars represent the little bit of light trying to stay in his life, fighting inside of him to take over, because as I mentioned earlier, he still knows right from wrong deep down inside. The next two lines say “And when the sun goes down, I know exactly what I’ll find” (16-17). He knows what will happen if he keeps going in the direction he’s headed. Obviously. I’m pretty sure that line didn’t need explaining, but I didn’t wanna just leave it out completely. That would be like removing it from the song, and I don’t think I have the authority to do that. So I’m not going to try. I don’t think it would work.

The verse ends with “Some things in this life / will never change / We both have apologies we need to exchange” (18-20). This part is a little confusing... and it’s is going to be hard to explain. I think. It sounds like he’s saying his two different sides (his good side and his evil side) need to apologize to each other. Why would his good side need to apologize to his evil side? Because even though it is a different side of himself, it is still part of him. It’s not necessarily that each side of himself needs to apologize to each other because they have done some kind of disservice to each other... well, actually, it is like that... because they’re the same person and he needs to apologize to himself. He couldn’t very well say “I’m only going to apologize to half of myself.” I mean I’m sure he could say that, but it would be stupid. He needs to apologize to himself for shutting out his good side (evil side apologizing to good side), and he needs to apologize to himself for falling for the lies from his evil human nature (good side apologizing to evil side).

I need to interrupt myself again. I realize that that probably makes very little or no sense. Sorry. It makes sense to me. I don’t know how else to explain it. Just think really hard about it. If you get to the point where it makes your head hurt and you still don’t get it, you probably aren’t going to and you may as well give up. Thinking about it more than that isn’t worth it. It’s probably not that important.

Only 8 lines left... they’re not that hard to figure out, but since I wrote about every other line in the song, I may as well keep going. “How could I let myself / fall into your lies / I only trusted you / with all of my life / Now I am stuck here / I’m trapped under ice / The only way out / is for me not to ask why” (21-28). Ok so he can’t believe he was so stupid, he obviously “trusted you with all of my life”, since he is himself, and he can’t change the past which would in turn change his current situation (“Now I’m am stuck here / I’m trapped under ice”). The only way to get past this is to move on and to not spend all his energy trying to figure out why he is in this situation, but to accept the fact that he is in this situation and needs to get out.

So if this song were written in plain, non-metaphorical, not-very-pretty English, I think it would go something like this: “I need to stop lying to myself before I do more damage than I’ve already done. I’ve been blocking out memories of the bad things I know I’ve done so I won’t feel the need to fix myself. Now everyone can tell that something is wrong with me. I’ve left so many people scarred because I’ve been lying to myself for so long and doing things I know were wrong. But all this time I’ve felt and still feel like it’s pointless and impossible to change myself. I know I’m on a bad path, but there’s still a little bit of good left in me. If I don’t grab onto it right now, things will only get worse. Things that have happened already can’t change, but it’s time to apologize to myself for all the lies. I can’t believe I let myself turn into this... I can’t believe I turned myself into this. Instead of trying to change the past and figure out why my life had to go this way, I need to just completely run away from the evil in my life.” This song almost seems to lose something when it’s explained in plain English. I’m sorry if I ruined this song for you. Go listen to it until you feel better. Goodbye.

Listen to "Chasing Shadows at Midnight": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5wPieXR4Hw